Update! Fun things

Hello, all!

I have completely neglected the blogosphere the past couple years or so. I’ve just been busy with life, I guess? Or directing my writing focuses in other directions. Anyways.

I just wanted to pop by and let any of you who happen to see this know that I am now writing for this online teen magazine, Affinity! (Even though I’m just about 20 and probably one of the oldest writers on there… But that’s okay! They accepted me to be a contributing writer, knowing my age, and I still have relevant thoughts and views on life pertaining to teen lives.)

So I thought I’d put a link to the website, here (I guess to my bio page(s) where you can see the pieces I’ve written so far if you want to read them). There are two parts of the site, the social justice (main) site and the Arts + Culture site.




So yeah, please check them out if you are so inclined! Not sure if I’ll come back on here or not, as I will be spending my time writing for Affinity and living in London (!) this semester.

Thanks for reading, friends!


(AKA Zoe)




I have been nominated for two awards/tags recently, both by the wonderful MrHushHush (GO CHECK OUT HIS BLOG). And it’s amazing that he has nominated me for anything, because I’ve hardly been posting anything lately and he only started following me recently. So he hasn’t even been around when I’ve posted more regularly/often, which means he really does seem to like/care about what I write. So THANK YOU to him. It means so much to me that you’d nominate such a sub-par, undedicated “blogger” like me. Thank you.

But then here’s the thing that goes along with that. I haven’t been active lately, and if I have, it’s been me coming on here, writing something that I need to get out of my brain, and then leaving again for an indefinite amount of time. I’ve been doing a terrible job lately at reading blog posts from people I follow, even though I get email notifications every time someone posts something. Sometimes, if I’m not doing anything while checking my email I’ll read a new one that’s popped up in my inbox. But most of the time I just kind of don’t read any of them. I know, I’m a terrible person. I love following people’s lives and reading what other writers have to say, I’ve just not really been motivated lately to spend much time in the blogging world. And, so, as a result, I don’t think I really deserve these awards, and also if I were to do them I wouldn’t really have anyone else to nominate, other than the person who nominated me (and that’s not how it works). So I don’t know what to do. I am so, so honored that MrHushHush nominated me TWICE (again, thank you). But I don’t feel like I can really do them the way I’m supposed to… Wow this has taken way longer to say than I originally meant. Sorry.

So. I guess I could be an even worse person and just do what the award and tag ask, but not nominate anyone else? I feel like that’s a sort of selfish, egotistical thing to do but honestly I think it’s more interesting than me just posting an apology for how unmotivated a person I am. So… I guess here goes. If you’ve stayed with me this long, thanks. 🙂

The Blue Sky Tag

For this one I will answer the 11 questions he asked me.

1. Why do you blog?

(Well obviously I suck at blogging these days but originally) I started just to kind of put into words what was going on in my head. I think I had a sort of goal to have real live people reading what I wrote, but these days I blog mostly for myself. I think of this place as sort of my own personal online diary, which I turn to when there’s something on my mind that I want to write about. But it’s not really in the hopes of getting likes or comments anymore (although those are always appreciated and make me feel happy).

2. What is your favorite topic to write/read about?

Well, for non-fiction I like to write about whatever’s on my mind and sometimes things that upset me/get me riled up. I like to read memoirs every once in a while, because I like people and real-life true stories.

In terms of fiction… I love reading Young Adult (YA). I think a lot of it is that I have been a “YA” myself for a while now, so the stories have been relatable or a good escape into a better world that’s still relatable… And I really like writing YA as well. One of my goals as an aspiring fiction (and maybe YA) writer is to tell stories about/that have LGBTQ+ characters, because as a teenager who took forever to realize her sexuality, it would have been really nice for there to have been more books out there with queer characters to relate to. Especially Questioning characters.

3. Are you happy in this moment in your life?

I’ve sort of been thinking about this lately (well, not exactly this but things like this about life) and I think that, overall, yes. I am happy in this moment in my life. I am at a really good age. I am adult enough to feel kind of like an adult and not much like a kid (but still enough like a kid to have fun and appreciate my “youth”). I don’t know if that makes any sense, but just like thinking about where I am, with school and friends and things, and what that might look like in the future… I think I like where I am now better than where I might be and will eventually be in the near and distant future. I am surprisingly looking forward to going back to school, which is a really good sign.

4. Are you in love?/

Hah nope. Never have been. That’s one of the things I’m unhappy about in my life right now—I haven’t had any romantic experiences, and I am so ready to. I feel like I’m unusually old to never have been in a relationship before… But I’m trying to not fret about it too much and make myself more open/hopeful about finding romantic prospects in the future.

5. How do you cope when feeling lost or empty?

Well I usually write something on here, or I text one of my two closest friends and talk about it… Or just read or watch tv or draw until I feel better. Spending time with my friends also usually helps.

6. What’s a special memory you often flash back to?

Hm. I’m really not sure. Just like nice/fun moments with my friends over the years and recently, I think. Not necessarily anything specific.

7. What are you looking forward to?

Well, like I said, I’m surprisingly looking forward to going back to school. I’m also looking forward to seeing two comedians I follow perform in September with some friends from school… And to studying abroad in London next spring.

8. Do you see an overall goal in life you’re hoping to reach? If so, what?

I really want to find something that makes me reliably happy. I want to enjoy whatever job I have, and stick with it for a long time without feeling bored. I hope to maybe become a published author, and to keep theater and music in my life in some way.

9. What is your biggest fear and how do you rationalize it?

Mmm… Being alone? I’m afraid I’ll never find love but then I think about all the people in the world and how so many people end up happy/in relatinships and figure I’ll be fine. I also just fear not being liked/appreciated.

10. If you could recommend a book to me, what would it be?

Ahh just one? It’s so hard… I love Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. And I’ll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson… The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay… Nina LaCour’s books… Of course they’re all YA but I loved them all so much. Also a really good memoir is Hannah Hart’s Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded.

11. If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be?

Care less about fitting in. Don’t listen to what society is telling you to be. Be unique, be different. Fitting in is boring. (I also kind of still need to work on taking this advice now).

Wow those were good questions and took me a lot longer than expected. This is such a long post. I’m sorry.

And then there’s the Versatile Blogger Award, where you share 7 facts about yourself. Here goes.

  1. I’m gay. Hooray.
  2. I have (had?) this thing called Spondilolisthesus (I have no idea how it’s spelled), but basically I got a crack in my back when I was in first grade and had to wear a brace for a long time, and now it doesn’t hurt anymore but it’s still there I think.
  3. I clench my teeth at night, so I have to wear a sort of mouthguard thing now.
  4. I much prefer shopping for clothes in the mens section than the women’s section, but I feel awkward about it sometimes. It’s helpful when I go shopping with my brother though.
  5. I’ve been playing the drums for about 9 and a half years. (Although I haven’t been playing that much this year because I suck at practicing when I’m not taking lessons).
  6. I have no idea what I really want to do in life (that’s plausible for me to make money and support myself)/what I’ll end up doing.
  7. I am the biggest theater nerd.

Alright! That was such a long post…. Sorry! But thank you SO so much to MrHushHush again for the kind nominations. I really appreciate it. I hope anyone who read all of this (wow good job) is doing well and I will try to read other people’s blogs soon, I appreciate you all so much, have a wonderful day/afternoon/night.

Thanks for listening.


(also apologies for bad grammer/spelling I did not proofread this at all)


I have so many insecurities. They make me hate myself and wonder why anyone else would ever like me, let alone fall in love with me. I can rationalize with myself that it’s not only looks that matter, that I’m not even that ugly (and I hate the idea of someone being ugly; everything about looks is a detrimental societal construct and I could rant about society forever but I’ll spare you for now), but those little thoughts keep poking at me, persisting until I let them in and let them ruin any self-confidence I was starting to build. I’ve gotten good at hiding what makes me feel bad. I wear loose-fitting tops, slouch more when I’m with other people, and pretend to not care. I am so good at telling other people not to care about what they look like, that they are beautiful the way they are. But I can’t seem to convince myself.

Today I decided to label all of my phsyical insecurities, imperfections that I have been focusing on so much lately.

I have flub all over my body. My stomach. My waist. My thighs. My arms. There is extra fat that does not belong there, yet there it is.

I have stretch stretch marks all over my thighs and my waist, these red stripes that show there is more there than what my body was expecting there to be.

Extra skin/fat at the top of my neck that makes a small double chin. It’s not even that big, but it has been probably my single-most focused on flaw for the past few months.

I am so, so tall. I make anyone shorter than me look like a child when I stand next to them. I have to make sure I’m not standing next to certain friends when we take photos, just so our height difference is not so accentuated. And because I am tall (and because I don’t exercise and I eat a lot of junk), I also weigh a lot more than most people my age.

I have this thing called Pectus Excavatum, where my sternum doesn’t come out as far as most people’s. So I sometimes think my chest looks funny/different than most girls, especially in certain tops, even though it’s not that noticable unless you know about it. Still.

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I think, God, I look horrible. Why would anyone like someone so ugly? I can’t imagine anyone wanting to hold my hand, cuddle with me, see me undressed. It’s extremely depressing. What about the good parts of me? There must be some okay parts of me on the outside that I don’t hate.

I’ve been told I have beautiful eyes.

I like my nose, eyebrows, and ears. Seemingly weird things to take note of but some people pay so much attention to these things, and I am lucky enough not to care about them at all.

My teeth are pretty okay, especially now that they’ve had braces twice.

People are envious of my height. They say that being tall is a blessing, that they’d do anything to be as tall as I am. Strangers have seen me and told me a should be a model.

This is awkward but my boobs are a nice size. Not too small, but not too big either. Some people care a lot about that.

I like my calves, for some reason. And my hands are a nice size. I’m learning to like my hair.

And I try my best to love my stretch marks. When I started getting them when I was young, I asked my mom what they were and why I had them. She said I had them because I was growing. And I’ve gotten new stretch marks in all the years since, even now. It means I’m still growing, have always been growing. And to focus on the meaning of this growing, whether it’s positive or negative (weight gain), isn’t very helpful. Growing, in general, is a good thing. Growing of the mind, the body, the spirit, whatever, is all good. Flowers grow from seeds into buds into beautiful things people want to have around to look at. Growing is good. My stretch marks are a sign of growth.

It is so, so easy to focus on what society tells you to feel about your body. But it is so harmful to think that way and believe any of it. Sometimes (often) I hate the way I look, but I know in my heart that there is so much more to me than my looks, and I know that I am not ugly. It just takes effort to focus on your positive attributes, but they’re there. I’ll keep working on it.

Just some thoughts I’ve been having lately. I don’t have the energy to go back and re-read this, so sorry for any typos or awkward phrasing.

Thanks for listening.




Alright. So I’ve been having some kind of emotional, down days lately. Especially the other day when I had the whole day off and was home alone and did literally nothing productive all day… I got into this sort of downward spiral of ultimate boredom and disappointment with myself. It really helped to be texting one of my best friends about it all day, but he still couldn’t really pull me out of it. He understood though.

Basically, I’ve been super busy with work—I somehow managed to get two part-time jobs pretty soon after I got home from my first year of college—and as soon as I had a day off and had time to think about what I wanted to be doing I got… in a bad mood. And it’s gotten me thinking about a lot of stuff. So this is my attempt to try to write it all down.

I want so much. That sounds not good and superficial and stuff, but I mean it in a different way, sort of.

I want to be… so many things. Do so many things.

I want to write. Become an author. Write the books I want to read.

I want to be an editor, or do something in publishing even though I don’t know anything about it, but it might be my best option (if it even is an option) at finding a stable career.

I want to be involved in theater. Good theater. New York? Broadway? Ashland is also amazing. I wish I could act well/better and I wish I could sing or dance. Drumming in a pit band might be a reasonable-ish dream but still a bit of a far-fetched one. I just really want to be involved in/surrounded by theater. Theater is amazing, and I am so so passionate about it. I just need to figure out how it fits into my life and how I fit into it.

I want to feel confident in my body. This most likely can happen if I exercise and work hard to get in shape. I’ve been extremely lazy this year about exercising and eating healthily… And it shows. I want to change that. I’d also just like to be able to accept myself, no matter what I look like. I’m super self-conscious about everything.

I want to travel. Go new places, see new things, etc. etc.

I want to meet new people. Especially queer people. I feel like I’m not friends/friendly with enough people at school/in general, so it feels like I’m missing out on all these supposedly great young adult experiences. I don’t know exactly what they are but I know that people can be cool and fun and I want to know more of them. (If anyone can think of any suggestions of things to do/places to go to meet new people that I might not have already thought of, please let me know!) And on the queer people thing–I’m just coming into my queer-ness and it’s really nice to be surrounded by people like yourself. I’m lucky enough to have a good group of friends at school, where the majority of them happen to be queer, but I’d still like to meet more. Plus…more potential romantic prospects. Which leads me to…

I want to meet someone, be in a relationship. I’ve never experienced love and I’d really, really like to. Even just, like, a random kiss from someone nice would be a step up from where I am now. I haven’t experienced anything romantic ever, and I’m so, so ready to. Plus, if I met a nice girl and things developed, it would give me a chance/reason to come out to my parents… Being in the closet is weird sometimes, but I’m also glad to be other times. And I’ve told most of my friends already… It’s just different with family. Anyways. That’s for another post, another time.

I want to read everything. More YA, more classics, more author’s I’ve heard about but haven’t had the time or dedication to actually read their works yet. I want to read more so I can learn more about the world—while also escaping it—and maybe even become a better writer because of it.

I want to get better at writing. I want to write more often. This is related to my first topic but it’s more relevent to the now. I want to write something every day. Or even every other day. I say I want to be a writer, maybe somehow make a career out of writing someday, but I need to actually write a lot to do that first. I need to practice, get better, become more confident..

I want to figure out what I’m meant to do in life.

I want to inspire people. Which also, to me, includes some form of desire for fame/popularity. I want to be like the people who inspire me– actors, writers, comedians… I want to leave a lasting impact on people, especially young people.

I just want so, so much.

The problem is, though, that while I want everything, I do hardly anything to actually get it. I don’t do anything to help myself. I don’t know whether it’s out of fear, or not knowing how to, or sheer laziness, but I am terrible at following through on what I want or say I am going to do. But I’m working on it. Even though I’m busy with work this summer, I want to actually try to figure out things to do to meet new people, and I want to take day trips to new places, to explore. I want to step outside my comfort zone. Try new things. So while I’m wallowing in self-pity (ish?) and boredom right now, hopefully I will soon make progress in actually doing some of the things I say I want to do.

Thanks for listening.


So. Hi.

Hey there.

It’s been almost a year since I was last on here. Oops.

I’m not sure that I’m actually going to get back on here, but I thought I might as well post something today, seeing as it’s the end of the year and I haven’t posted in forever.

I also have to apologize to the blogs I follow- I haven’t been reading all of your posts. I’ve just been kind of busy and distracted this year, and not really in the mood to be on WordPress all the time. But I’ve still read some posts, when I’ve been checking my email and have had a moment to get updated on all of your lives. I wish I were more in the mood to stay up to date on here and post more, but I wasn’t. Overall I’ve been a bad blogger this year. Sorry.

This year has been crazy though.

I turned eighteen (as you saw in my last post, when I was freaking out about being an adult), graduated high school, got way better at playing the drums, started college, made new friends (and kept in touch with the old ones), voted in my first presidential election, wrote a NOVEL, got good grades in my first semester of college, came out to my closest friends… Overall 2016 has been a big year for me.

Not everything has been great, and I feel with the people who are glad 2016 is over because of all the terrible things that have happened this year. But I also want to remain positive and remember it as a happy year in my life. I think the biggest event was that I graduated from high school and started college. That was exciting and terrifying, but I did it! And I’m enjoying living away from home and studying new things well enough. I’m home for winter break right now though, and I must say, it’s SO nice to be back.

Other big things I want to remember and focus on… I voted, so that was cool. The election didn’t go the way I wanted it to, and I’m terrified for what the next four years will look like, but I have faith that it will all be okay.

In November, I participated in Nanowrimo– that’s “National Novel Writing Month.” It was SO hard, especially since I was taking four college classes with lots of homework at the same time, but I DID IT. I wrote a 50,000 word book. I had had a book idea floating around in my head and in my notes for a long time (maybe two years?), and I kept putting off really starting it and working on it. So I made myself do Nanowrimo, and FINALLY wrote my book. It’s really rough and not very good right now, but at least I have a draft written. I wrote something. 50,000 words of something. So I’m pretty proud of that. I want to go back and edit it and figure out what I can do to make the story stronger, but I don’t know when I’ll get to that or exactly how to approach doing so. It’s fine though. I’m just happy right now that I wrote a book. And I mean, it would be really cool to find a book agent or something, figure out how to get it published at some point (when it’s a lot better, not anytime soon). But anyways.. Yeah. I wrote a novel. We’ll see where it goes from here.

And then I also came out to my closest friends. And I guess now I’ll come out on here: I’m gay. I’ve been questioning the past two years or so, but earlier this year I finally became sure of it. I’m gay af. It’s been a complicated, confusing, frustrating couple of years. Anyways. I’m not out to my family yet, but I told my closest friends from high school, and my new friends at college know too. I’m kind of just not trying to hide it at school now (college), which is weird but exciting. So yeah. And my two closest (new) friends at school are also part of the LGBT community so that’s nice. I don’t feel as alone anymore.

I don’t really know what else to write… but since it’s New Year’s Eve, I’ll try to think of some of the things I obsessed about and appreciated in 2016.

Obsessions/Favorites of 2016:

  • Kate Mckinnon. Always.
  • Ghostbusters 2016 (sub-category of above)
  • Lin-Manuel Miranda
  • Ashland, OR
    • Sara Bruner
  • Earrings
  • Rolling rings
  • My nieces
  • Theater nerds
  • Roller coasters
  • My pets
  • Twin brothers
  • The gay version of Oaklahoma!
  • SNL
  • Young people (especially my best friend’s little sister and cousins)
  • Heathers: The Musical
  • Sara Bareilles and Anna Kendrick’s books
  • Plaid/flannel (always)
  • Harry Potter movies
  • Emma Stone
    • La La Land
  • New friends
  • Colleen Hoover
  • The Benson hotel
  • Showtunes
  • You Know Me Well [Nina LaCour, David Levithan]

I think overall I had a really great year. Sure, not everything was perfect, but I survived, and I’m looking forward to what comes next. I don’t really feel like making technical new year’s resolutions, but I do want to make a few life resolutions that I’ve been thinking about for a while.

  1. Exercise. Get in shape, get fit, don’t eat as much junk. Be healthy. [I’ve already sort of started this.]
  2. DO THINGS. Get out, explore, try new things, step outside my comfort zone. I’ve been bored with my life for too long. I need to get off my ass and do things, make my life more full and exciting.
  3. Meet new people! Put myself out there, make new friends, do things with these people. See how these relationships can blossom.
  4. Figure out what I’m passionate about and DO those things. Write more. Get involved in theater. Keep playing the drums, get better and try new things.

I think those are the main things I hope to achieve in my life soon. The main message is just get out and try new things.

Okay. I’ve run out of things to say at the moment. I don’t know if I’ll return here soon or not. But whatever happens, here’s to a great new year. Happy 2017.

Thanks for listening.


Almost an Adult

So…. Tomorrow (Jan 15) I will officially be an adult!

Yep, tomorrow is my 18th birthday!

I don’t really know what to think. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever to become an adult and start living a real life in the real world, but now that it’s actually here it’s really weird and kind of scary. Daunting. There’s no going back.

The anticipation…. It’s all I can think of right now. So yup. Those are tonights thoughts.

Thanks for reading. Also, rest in peace Alan Rickman.


The Blogger Recognition Award

Hi! So I was nominated by Alex, for The Blogger Recognition Award! Thank you SO much, Alex, I really appreciate it!! And congrats on finishing your novel! That’s such a big deal!! 😀 You should all go check her blog out if you haven’t already.


Here are the rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.
  2. Write a post to show your award. Attach the logo to your post.
  3. Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  4. Give a piece of advice to new bloggers.
  5. Nominate 10 other bloggers.

Alright. So how my blog started…

I was in the process of figuring out that I really enjoy writing and I thought I should get more experience with creative writing (not just doing research papers for school). So I started this blog. That’s a very plain explanation, but it’s true. I also just really wanted a place where I could be my 100% true self and express my thoughts on things.

So basically my blog started out as a place for me to rant about things while gaining experience with a different style of writing. I’ve enjoyed it a lot– I think starting this blog has been one of the greatest, most life changing things I’ve done in the past year or so.

My advice to new bloggers… Well I still consider myself a new blogger. But I’ve been on here a year, so I guess I’ve got SOME experience and wise advice… 😛 I think what’s helped me the most is just reminding myself that I’m writing for myself, and for no one else. If other people happen to read what I write and like it, that’s great, but it’s not my goal. I LOVE my followers, each and every one of them, but when I write blog posts, they’re for me, not them. I don’t have very many followers, so I guess it’s easy for me to think this, but it truly is helpful.

I think about the future when I can come back on here to find all my posts from when I was a teenager and see what my thoughts and opinions were.. I’m excited for that. I wonder what my future self will think of my posts and writing… Hi future me! I hope we’re successful and happy 🙂

My nominees are:





Alaska Wild




So yeah. Thanks again to Alex for the nomination!!!

Have a lovely day/evening everyone!


I’m a dreamer.

When I think about my future, I dream up wonderful, perfect life scenarios. I dream of being happy and successful, enjoying my wonderful perfect job while making a reasonable amount of money. I dream of loving my life. Living in the perfect city. Having the perfect job. Spending time with the perfect friends.

I dream of living the type of life that’s in books and movies. I read about these amazing characters and the lives they live, and I want that. I want those lives that seem to be troubled but then everything works out in the end and they live happily ever after.

I’m not exactly sure what my dream job or life will be. I have some ideas, but I’m trying to not create a set path that I will feel guilty about breaking in the future when new opportunities arise.

I plan to work hard for what I want. I know that in order to live my dream I have to make it happen. I can’t just wait for it to be handed to me on a golden platter. I have to go get it.

A lot of people in this world look down on young people with ambitious dreams and life goals. They think that you have to have a certain type of job in order to make a certain amount of money in order to live well. But I don’t want to settle for a life that I’m not happy with. I see all these adults at my job who are unhappy with their lives, and I hate to say it, but I don’t want to end up like them. I want to enjoy my life.

So I’m not going to settle for something I don’t want, something more standard and predictable. I’m going to pursue my interests in english and writing, in music. Many people look down on such creative passions, believing they’re not lucrative enough, but they’re what I’m passionate about. I won’t compromise my interests in order to fit in with the norm and get a boring job that pays well. I will work hard and find jobs I enjoy, slowly gaining more and more experience and climbing the ladder until I reach a job I love.

Some potential dream jobs:

  • Working at a publishing house in NYC
  • Becoming a best-selling author
  • (much less realistic:) playing the drums in a famous band
  • Owning a bookstore
  • Playing in pit-bands/orchestras for popular musicals on Broadway

We’ll see what happens. All I know is that I won’t give up my passions in order to pursue a more “reasonable” career path.

It’s not bad to be a dreamer. Don’t let anyone tell you so. Pursue what you really care about and don’t listen to what anyone else says.

Those are my thoughts for the day. Comment any thoughts you have. Thanks for listening.

Stay passionate.


It’s going to be a big year.

AAAH it’s 2016!! I am so excited and scared about this year. So much is going to happen.

I’m going to choose a college to attend.

I’m going to graduate from high school. WHAT

Then I’m going to GO TO COLLEGE

Aaahh! Everything has been leading up to this year. Since middle school I have known the number/year ’16 to be an important one. Class of 2016! I will be starting the next stage of my life come fall. College. Wow. I am so freaking excited and so freaking scared about it, all at the same time.

Oh also I will turn 18. Yep. Very soon actually. January 15th. And here in America that means I’ll technically be an adult.

I’m going to be an ADULT

I don’t feel anywhere near ready to be an adult. But I’m excited for the independence and opportunities. I’m going to go off to college and learn a lot and meet new people (I am honestly so excited to meet new people because I am so bored with my life and my school right now). I am ready for new. But I’m sure I will miss the old once I’ve immersed myself in the new. I won’t be living with my parents. Or my brother. Or my dogs and cat and bunny! 😦 But I’m mostly excited.

This year, I am ready for change. I am ready to experience new things. I’m ready to figure out more about myself and what I like and don’t like. I’m ready to live in the real world, not the little semi-sheltered world I live in now with all the same people and things to do (or not do). I’m ready to meet new people. Try new things. Become the best version of myself.

I’m ready for a new year.


Happy New Year guys. I hope it’s a great one.